Thursday, March 25, 2010


Aiden is back in daycare. After being home with me for 8 months I have put him in a home facility three days a week. The woman is absolutely wonderful but things aren't going well. He's suffering from the worst case of separation anxiety ever. It's really hard, because each morning (that he goes) is a struggle. He begins crying when he realizes that he's getting dressed to go somewhere that early in the morning. And then if I manage to get him settled in the car on the way there (a big 5 min drive) the instant we pull into the driveway the tears begin again. Usually I have pretty thick skin, but this morning was very rough for some reason.

Apparently he's having good and bad days. Some days she says he only cries for a half hour...but I still feel that it's way too long for him to be crying. Yesterday she said he had a really rough day and that whenever she couldn't give him her undivided attention, he began to cry. I can't help but feel guilty that I'm the reason he's acting this way. It's so hard to go from being with mommy or Nanna all the time to being with some stranger who has to share her time among four children. UGG...what's a mommy to do?

I don't want to pull him, I feel like he's going to act like this where ever he goes. He needs this structure and now that I'm back to work, we have no other choice. If there was only something that could soothe his anxieties (besides time).

I know that eventually he'll get over this, but it's so hard to see him like this every day. I know he likes it there. If he knows he isn't going, he talks about the place all day long. But as soon as you tell him he's going he has a melt down.

Usually I don't want the time to pass, but in this case, it wouldn't hurt to speed up a bit :)

It will get will!!

Saturday, March 20, 2010

33 weeks and counting

I've been really bad about documenting the roller coaster ride that has been my second pregnancy. Partly because I have had little to no time to do anything, and partly because it's been a rough ride.

Let's just say I'm very ready to have this little lady!

We went back to the doc this week and they actually didn't check me (I normally get my cervix measured every week). We listened to the heartbeat, which was very strong, and I went on about my day!

We are 33 weeks now and it's been 15 weeks since my cervical disorder was discovered. I have been to the doctor every week for those 15 and I'm ready to be done. I'm ready to hold this little bundle of pink in my hands and snuggle with her and give her the biggest mommy kisses ever!

The good news is I feel great. Aside from the sleepless, uncomfortable nights, I'm good! She's kicking the crap out of me on a daily basis, so she's good too!!

7 more to go...I can do this, I CAN!!

Monday, March 15, 2010

Big Boy Bed!

Aiden is sleeping and has been for days now in his big boy bed. We were going back and forth as to when the best time would be to move him. He never attempted to climb out of his crib, but I did want him out long before the new baby took over his domain. Last weekend was it. I got his new room assembled and we decided to give it a go at naptime. He's a CHAMP! We placed a twin mattress and boxspring on the floor and let him do his thing. We don't have rails on it so if he falls off, it'll be a short trip to the ground. So far so good though!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

"Mommy Eat"

My little eater. He's always been one with a healthy appetite. Today we went out to do a little shopping together and while sitting in front of Kohls, he suddenly began screaming "mommy" over and over again. Finally, after loading up my car I peeked my head inside and said "what?" With the biggest smile ever, he pointed towards the Chick-fil-a and said "mommy, eat." I couldn't help but giggle. Like mother, like son!

We headed over, grabbed some yummy CFA and off to the park we went. We enjoyed our yummy lunch and then played on the playground for a while with Aunt Dan and cousin T! It was a stupendous day!

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Physician Frustration

AARRRGG! That's really all I have to say. This pregnany has been a roller coaster of ups and downs and it's still realtively far from being over. I'm having some major issues with my doctor.

For those of you who don't know, I've been diagnosed with a weak or short cervix, which makes keeping a baby in, a bit of a challenge. No one knows if I had this condition when I was pregnant with Aiden and there is really no way of knowing. SO...this go round we've been taking precautions and I have been to the doctor EVERY week since week 23 (I'm 31 now). This whole time I have been optimistic about the situation, partly because I feel great and partly because that's how I'm trying to live/look at life these days. BUT, I'll tell you, my doctor is making it very difficult for me to remain that way. I know she is a professional and she deals with this sort of thing all the time, however when you are dealing with someone else's life, don't be wishy washy. Tell it how it is!

For example, three weeks ago I went in for a visit and the first things she says after reviewing my charts is, "Good job, things look stable.". At the end of this SAME VISIT I believe her words were, "things look a little weaker". I felt like saying "THAT'S IT?? That's all you have to say?"

For three weeks I have got a "good job, things are stable" and then all of sudden last week I got "well there's not much of a cervix to talk about Noelle". Again, that was it. No metion of bed rest, no mention of anything else. You'd think if things looked that bad, they would have me off my feet all day, but nope..not the case. I'm just very confused and think that maybe it's time for a second oppinion. I do have 9 more weeks to go and I can't spend all that time worrying about what will happen.

I'm frustrated....just plain frustrated!